This blog was written February of 2017. How beautiful it is to reflect on how much has changed •and• what is & always will be True.

- - -

This early in the morning it's only the sounds of birds and chimes that fill the air. I close my eyes and pull myself into the present, asking myself the same questions I ask my students on a regular basis.

"What is this very moment like, what do you feel?"
~ The sun is warm, the breeze is soft, and the ground feels steady and cool beneath me."

"What are the thoughts?"
~ This feels so nice, I could stay out here forever. Forever...that's how long it will take me to write this first blog post. I don't even know where to start.

If I'm being completely honest this whole idea is terrifying. Sharing myself with the world, letting myself be seen AND heard. A part of me is dreading, but another part is urging. What will come of it? I don't know, but the reality is I don't need to. What IS needed of me however is to listen to the whispers and trust in my highest and best.

To quote my teacher, "the teachings are crystal clear on this one: the soul isn’t confused about why it’s here. The soul is not interested in what your friends, family, neighbors or coworkers think. The soul knows the Truth: move, choose, speak, live from the center, and you are serving the highest good. Always. Not sometimes, some people, some circumstances. Everyone, everywhere, all the time."

So what is my soul's purpose, where is it trying to lead me, what's next? Not only for my own benefit but for the benefit of all around me too. When I read through my practice journal I am able to piece together a pretty clear picture; words like "slow down, make space, be present, pay attention, be brave, trust life, and BE your best you" fill the pages.

It's what I've been working on for the past 6 months now and as I continue, the road gets steeper and the turns get sharper. The hardest part I'm finding is maintaining the right speed; too slow and the momentum of my past will turn me back down the mountain, too fast and I risk falling off completely. It's only when I practice balance between effort and ease that I make steady progress and am rewarded with spectacular views.

A part of me wants to say this journey started with my yoga teacher training but the truth is my journey started long before then. There's always been a pull towards something more, I just didn't have the tools necessary to navigate the path until then. For me applying the teachings of this ancient practice over the last year and a half is what got me to where I am now - on the edge of the life I have been living, ready to take that leap of faith to the life I am meant to be living.

For so long I've allowed fear to stop me from showing up fully in this world. "What will they think?" "You just can't." "It's not safe." These are the thoughts that have in large part ruled my life thus far, and it's time for that to change. Part of this process is acknowledging the experiences that helped solidify these beliefs, another is knowing that these beliefs no longer serve a purpose of self preservation like they maybe once did.

I currently find myself on my knees with hands covered in dirt. The biggest weeds have been pulled out at their roots, and the seeds of a more fulfilling life have been planted. With beads of sweat rolling down my neck I savor the momentary relief of the cool breeze on my skin. I pause in a moment of gratitude for EVERYTHING, all events, people, and decisions that have played their part in my arriving where I am now.

As I begin my 26th trip around the sun I make a vow to my soul to nourish, listen, and follow. To continuing with this practice, slow down, be present, let go of what no longer serves me, create and maintain boundaries, make myself available to receive, and allow myself to BE who I was meant to be. We are all blessed to live this life together; to experience joy, sorrow, love, loss, adventure, magic, and awe. And it is my prayer that we all take advantage of the opportunity to embark on the journey back to self.

With love,

Rayneen Thebeau